Religion: The Forgotten Denominations

OK so I got a few comments that I might have left out some of the Major Religions or "I might not have been fair" which translates into I did not offend everyone so let me add to my list.

Penicostals how could I forget them? Shouting dancing pue jumping, speaking in tongues and women with lots of make up and large hats...... Really not all that different from Gay Pride week in Downtown Denver. But both are great fun to watch and anyone that is so happy they throw themselves on the floor and writhe around is OK by me....So in my religion every 4th Tuesday will be the Big Hat Speaking in tongues Tuesday Service.

Jehovah Witness, love these guys except the whole watch tower thing. They really need to get better editors "Boring"! The Jehovah witness is the most optimistic of all religions first they believe that only 144,000 people will go to heaven now that is an exclusive club but here is the really optimistic part none of them living today are that 144,000 and unless one of that 144,000 falls away they have no shot. So they are flying stand  by to Heaven now if you ever done that it is a major leap of faith. They also save a ton of money on Birthdays and Holiday gift giving not to mention windows. Think about it folks Kingdom Halls have no windows and no paid clergy thrift and efficiency. Just a thought maybe they should run for office? Wait they are not allowed.... another thing I admire them for. From this day forward in my religion the no window thing is in so no one sees what we got going on inside (Especially on big had speaking in tongues Tuesday). We will not pay our clergy and only I will get Birthday presents. I know what your thinking not fair but again my religion my rules. Christmas totally in though love the decorations and the music and cookies so feel free to spread goodwill cheer and presents to all you love.

Atheists not sue what to do about you guys while I want my religion to be very inclusive not sure what you people will be bringing to the party but we can take it before the judges Oprah, Kathy Griffin, Simon and Paula Dean to see if your voted in our out because as the PO BI I am far to important to deal with the little stuff.

Thinking it over maybe Oprah not such a good panel judge choice watched part of the show last night after work and haven't seen it in years.. Is it just me or has she gotten a little self important , over confident, and not all that funny anymore. I admit could be my mood but when did she get so to quote my Grandmother "uppity" Now here is the really scary part I probably will get more hate mail for that comment than on dishing all the other religions....Not surprising though she does have more followers than the Catholics and Mormons...

NEWS ALERT: JUDGE JUDY BEAT OPRAH IN RATINGS! I may have to watch and see if we want her on my panel...........OK just watched. love her but what a Biatch! Did I use that correctly? Going to have to veto judge Judy way too bossy. So we have a slot on the panel open I am taking nominations. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Stay tuned for today's rant; Parenting